The belief that Love is found outside ourselves in another person is so pervasive and deep that it is usually not questioned, even among those who are spiritually aware. I invite you to inquire into this belief to see what, if any, truth can be found there.
Inherent in the belief that love is found in another is the belief that we are all separate entities. As soon as we step into the belief in separation, there is a sense of lack. We feel separate from Love. So we began to search for love. The first place we look is in other people. We look to our parents and family for love as a child, and as an adult we also look to our friends and lovers. Yet, is there really a source of love that is independent and separate from the Whole? Do we really “get” love “from” other people? Take a moment right now to inquire into that question by feeling into your heart as you hold a person you love in mind. What is the truth of your direct experience?
The truth is that there is only one source. There are not seven billion independent sources of love on the planet. There is only one. A source separate from this one does not exist. It can appear as though love is coming from a person when they stimulate it within us, but it is actually sourced in our shared Being, which is Love.
When we “fall in love” we get a glimpse of the source of Love. Yet, it is usually projected onto the person who stimulated this glimpse. It appears as though there is an “I” who loves “you” and a “you” who loves “me.” In Reality, there is only Love loving itself through its many expressions of itself. It could be said that the experience of Love can be found in the break from the sense of separation that opens up when we fall in love. We fall into the Love that was always here. True Love is nondual in nature, yet is gets played out in the duality of relationship. This is not a problem unless its truth gets lost in the duality.
Awakened relating is about being in relationship while maintaining conscious awareness of the truth of what is—one nondual source of Love. As we come to know that source more directly, we can abide in/as that and celebrate Love with other expressions of this Love. In a way, there is nothing personal about it. There is appreciation for each of our own unique expression of Love, but that does not belong to a personal “someone.” There is often resistance to coming into the truth of awakened relating because we don’t want to lose the illusion of personal specialness. Yet, nothing is ever truly lost by facing Reality as it is. In doing so, we come to know a Love that is far more vast than our limited, conventional ideas of love.
Relationship flows in the harmonious way it is intended to when we come to know and rely on the true source of Love. Without that, we are always looking away from the source, lost in the confusion of trying to find it where it is not. This will never work for any of us. The conventional idea of love and relationship is based on a fundamental falseness—separation. So, until that basic misunderstanding is corrected, relationship will not provide the consistent sharing and celebration of Love that is possible.
We come to know Love’s source and its ever-presence through looking within our own being. We are that Love. As we allow all of our thoughts, feelings and sensations to just be, they will settle. As these constantly changing phenomena settle, we can see what is always present and unwavering. There is a pure, loving Presence that is here in the midst of all its expressions. The more we recognize and rest as That, the more we can get to know its loving nature. We can come to see that it is the heart essence of all beings. It is not a love confined to just one special relationship, or just a few. It is a Love that pervades all of existence, because it is the essence of all existence.
When it comes to Love, we want to look to what is ever-present, constant and unchanging. No person, no matter how loving, can ever be a constant source of Love. Yet, whether others are loving towards us or not, there is such a Love within our own Being. When we know this through direct experience, we can relate in a way that allows all of our humanness to be exactly as it is in an embrace of loving acceptance. Only then are we free to fully love others. We are also free of the fear of losing love. This is the truth of Love beyond all the beliefs and myths about it.