The Core Deficient Self and Relationship

In realizing the non-dual nature of reality, and seeing all divisions between self and other as illusory and thought-created, one’s work is done . . . or so the story goes.  Theoretically, at least, any sense of ego is then seen for what it is, an illusory creation of thought.  Any suffering, seeking, or conflict that arises in relationship is seen through as a product of identifying with that ego.  One would experience directly non-dual recognition and never suffer in a personal story, never seek for love, attention, validation, or approval from others, and never find conflict of any kind in relationship. Such is the folklore of the ideal awakening,

The Core Deficient Self and Relationship


About Scott Kiloby

Scott Kiloby is the author of Love’s Quiet Revolution: The End of the Spiritual Search; Reflections of the One Life: Daily Pointers to Enlightenment; Living Realization: Your Present Experience As It Is; and Living Relationship: Finding Harmony with Others. He is also the creator of a new addiction/recovery method called the Natural Rest Presence Method. His book, by the same name, is scheduled for release in 2012. Scott’s main websites are and


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One Response to The Core Deficient Self and Relationship

  1. Linda Stevenson says:

    The Core Deficient Self and Relationship posting is a beautiful example of the hallmarks of Scott Kiloby’s work and writings: clarity, conciseness, compassion, openness, simplicity, and practicality. I love the concept of “subtle pockets of leftover separaton” which remain unseen until we are willing to inquire into what our relationships are mirroring back to us. Working with Scott has been so powerful to me personally and a wonderful complement to my practice of meditation that I am now in training to facilitate his inquiries.

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